If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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