What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
