my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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