She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
