you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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