I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
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