the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
