pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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