Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
The struggles of a small town man whore
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
