Quick, to the slutcave!
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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