you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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