well you can't waste a boner
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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