I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
