they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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