I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
two words...techno handjob
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
