it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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