Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
When are your genitals available?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Randomize
