I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
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