Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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