You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize