Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Randomize
