I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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