It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
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