operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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