Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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