I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
