I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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