Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
never play flip cup with pint glasses
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
