I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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