I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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