meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Randomize
