Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
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