But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
