Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
