she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
