He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
