He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
