My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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