We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
