I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I want to make a zoo with you.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
