So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
A+ Viking dick
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Randomize
