i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
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