he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
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