Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
