Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
