there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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