I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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