We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
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