I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
