Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
